Diary Room #6

[Rhian Sugden]

It's definitely not a good time in the house. While Ed has left and I'm very excited about that, Andrew has left too. Closer towards the deadline, we received word that people were no longer voting to keep Andrew, people we had banked on having for sure, so we knew it was a lost cause. However, with me being stubborn and pissed off at Dixie, I just left my vote how it was without a care in the world. That was probably a mistake. When the results came out, it was easy for everyone to peg Estelle, Dom, and Ryan as 3/4 of the votes and everyone immediately said the last was either Shane of myself to evict Talla.

Talla confronted me about it, and all I did was deny, deny, deny. Lmao. This past round definitely wasn't my brightest and probably my worst. I don't know if Talla bought it or not, but I really don't care. It's no secret at all that GinaMarie, Estelle, and I are probably on life support in the game right now, and I would guess that GinaMarie would be the first target out of the three of us. Because of this, I tried to do damage control last night .. with Dixie. I admitted to basically everything. I mean, whatever. If I have to spill the tea as a guise in order to try and stay longer, I will. I told Dixie that when we came in here, she said she wouldn't set out to hurt my game, and taking out GinaMarie gives me a big hit.

I don't expect Dixie to give GinaMarie a pass in the slightest, but it's worth a try to guilt-trip and try and get my way. The bad thing right now is that while I feel like I can salvage myself a few rounds, I don't think I can do the same for GM or Estelle, and that's what sucks the most. I don't want them going anywhere, but this past round knocked our survival chances down a great amount. It's going to come down to this next Head of Household and whether or not it falls into the right hands. All I know right now, is there are a few people I can't stand. I don't like David, Helen's a jellyfish, Shane's a rat, Kristen's obnoxious, Sam's a douche, Frank's a flake, and I could go on. I hate everyone. I really do.

[Rhian Sugden]

I don't know what to do about GinaMarie, either. She's down and out. She's said she doesn't want to play anymore. She knows she's walking on very thin ice with the house because of the things Dixie has gone around said. I feel awful. Estelle and I know it's on and that we really need to win this next Head of Household to try and boost morale in some sort of way. If we can't win this, I don't see why the house just wouldn't unite and be like, "nominate them, they tried to keep Andrew." I know I would. It's a great play and it buys the rest of the house a few weeks while they all target us. Ugh, we just need to win this.

I'm really praying that this next Head of Household is something I can excel at, or something that Estelle can do great at. It needs to be something amazing. The only people that would be safe in my reign would be GinaMarie and Estelle. Dixie would have a slight chance of being safe but if I had to put her up in order to see someone else bounce, then I'd do it. However, that would be a slight chance, only because I dislike so many people at the moment, that I don't really have a set target in mind. I feel like a reign of mine would be successful regardless, because I'd be getting out someone that I didn't like in the house.

I got into a fight with Shane yesterday before the vote because he ran to Dixie and told her how I was keeping Andrew, too. I hate that kid. He has no sense of loyalty, honestly; him and I are aligned, and I'm not running around telling his business to everyone. Helen, yesterday, was running around to people and telling them something different then finishing off with a "but don't tell anyone else, I want to keep it a secret." Like, okay, bitch. How are you going to tell Kristen that and say you're evicting Andrew, then run to Andrew and GM and say the same thing, except that you're evicting Talla; atleast be discreet about it and just say you're on the fence or you're leaning a certain way, but not say for sure, like I did, and others did. Also, I'm pretty sure David or Frank told on GM, Estelle, and I .. how we mentioned we'd love to see Dixie targeted. David.

[Rhian Sugden]

[Mariah Carey]

samsung <3

[Rhian Sugden]

I'm trying to salvage this, even if it's temporary.

[Rhian Sugden]

I don't think any of you know the extent in which I studied for this Head of Household competition. I literally, went through every single video I could possibly find to study the voices of the people I didn't know. I was very fortunate to have stumbled across a few of them since they were actually used in the competition. I know the reason I was able to nail the Aussies voices well, was because I had watched the video that was used for Sam's clips, which allowed me to tell the difference between him and Ed. Thank god. I needed this win. GinaMarie needed this win. My friends needed this win. This week is seriously amnesty week for all of us. It's time to pick up the pieces.

As for the people I dislike after this past week? Screw them. These .gifs basically sum up my feelings as soon as I won. I know a few were probably bummed out too. Too bad, so sad .. deal with it. Luckily, before me winning happened, I was in the process of getting GinaMarie and Dixie to talk and repair their relationship. Kristen and I had been chatting and we were annoyed that this new feud between the two would hinder all our chances of making it far in this game. I'm sorry, but I refuse to let this be my downfall and to see the finale be like, James and Helen. I'd rather stab my eyes out then see something like that happen. For that reason, things needed to be fixed. Sometime after winning, it was relayed to me that they made up. Good. Temporary or not, it's good.

As for my nominations this week? I have a pool of people I'm picking from. The nominations will be James, Talla, Helen, or Shane. James is a shady bastard and I honestly don't have any desire to work with him in this game. He runs back and forth between people, stirs the pot, and he gets off over it. Talla has been unresponsive ever since the eviction. She answers very minimally and I know she knows I evicted her and she's pissed over it. Look, I get it, but it wasn't anything personal against her. Honestly. If she had instead come to me and said, "I know you evicted me" and was confrontational, then maybe we could of hashed it out, but instead she's just avoided me. Helen is self-explanatory: she's floppy, she flips and sways with the wind. She *promises* people something but does the opposite; her worry is upsetting people, but she ends up upsetting more people by doing that. Shane would just fulfill his usual pawn role.

[Rhian Sugden]

So, alot has happened. First, James' reaction to nominations was horrible compared to Talla's. I honestly thought it would've been the opposite. Talla reacted upset, of 'course, but she seemed genuinely confused. I do feel like I made a mistake in nominating Talla. I should have gone with my initial instinct in nominating David and James, but the fact that I had been talking to David most of the day had spared him, where I hadn't spoken to Talla at all, really, since the eviction from last week despite my attempts in trying. Since then, Talla and I have been talking, and whatnot. I do like her, we have always gotten along despite her "relationship" that I don't agree with, but yeah. After the reactions to nominations, I decided I wanted Talla to stay, James to go.

With this thought in mind, I started to panic. I had originally been leaning towards Talla going because I thought she had written me off, and I figured she would go no matter what if she stayed on the block .. and that's more than likely true; that's the problem now. If nominations stay, then Talla's going. I talked to Dixie and we went over the votes for James to go .. and we can only count on five. We need six. The others are more likely to evict Talla and keep James and then there's Shane. Like hell I'm going to count on Shane to vote how I want after last round. So, with all that on my mind, I entered the Veto competition, hoping and praying that I could win it or that Talla would win.

During the competition, it became more and more painfully obvious that as the numbers dwindled down, that instead of just finishing off the nominees, David was just searching and searching to sniff out Sam's squares, despite telling me beforehand he would sniff the nominees out then eliminate them just so that the non-nominees were left. David has pretended to me that he and James aren't very close, etc, which I don't believe whatsoever. I told him yesterday that I expected James to pick him for Veto, and what do you know? He did. I was happy that Sam won, because he'd prefer James to go just as much.

So? The plan right now is .. take down Talla, stick up a replacement. That's what I want to see happen. I will stick up an ally of James', but also someone I wouldn't mind seeing leave. Who better than David? It's blood on my hands, but I'm willing to go for it. I feel like I have handful of strong allies capable of winning Head of Household next week to potentially protect me after this week. I've been keeping Talla updated and telling her my progress in possibly getting her down off the block via Sam. She seems willing to forgive this week and move forwards together, and I can only hope that she does forgive me for the nomination, that way it'll be like I only have one person after me after eviction.