Dear Diary,

[Helen Kim]

Today I saw a boy, and I wondered if he noticed me, he took my breath away ...

Kat I'm naming my Diary Room thread after a Britney Spears song for you! I'm so considerate!


Sidenote: I was writing this and unfortunately hit the "back" button, and when I hit the forward button to get back here, all of my text was tone! You would think I learned my lesson from the countless times this happened to me on season four but clearly I did not! Bummer! UGH! Luckily Kat suggested to write everything in Notepad or whatever which I'll probably end up doing from now on. Damn you Proboards!

I'm so glad to be back! The game hasn't even started yet but I'm already a hot mess! I decided Golduck408 was so random and immature so I wanted to be simple and do HelenRNF but then I couldn't remember my password! So weird because I usually use the same password for everything (or so I thought), and I of course used a fake email address so there was no way for me to reset my password! So alas, bbrnfHelen is born lol!

Anyways, after playing a game hosted on the NDIM forums it made me realize how much I missed Proboards and their 10 second posting limit! The game doesn't start until Tuesday but I'm already trying to work up a social game because I don't want to be the first person voted out LOL but I'm not doing a good job because so far the only person I've spoken to are GinaMarie and Rhian haha, so that won't be helpful! Normally my princess self will never make the first move to IM anyone and usually wait for my inbox to start flooding with messages but the only person to have im'ed me so far is Kristen! -cries- Guess I'm not as popular as I thought LOL hopefully it has to do with me posting a screen name that I don't remember the password to!

I will definitely try to make my rounds with everyone tomorrow and make sure I have at least some form of communication with everyone, regardless of how awkward it is. I probably won't win the first HOH so I gotta bank on my likeability factor to get me through the first week!

A short one for now, since I can't remember what else I wrote before it got deleted lol.

[Helen Kim]

Lol, awkward nobody was im'ing me Better step it up tomorrow!

[Kat]

I seriously thought of Britney when I read Dear Diary haha <3

[Helen Kim]

Yay Dixie signed up!!!!! I don't know much of her gameplay but her confessionals cracked me up so much and she was one of the people I was looking forward to working with! I wasted no time in PM'ing her and she awarded me with a golden sticker yeah! She said I was her favorite but I'm going to be so embarrassed when this game ends and I read her confessionals and Dixie is like "LOL HELEN PM'ED ME THAT GIRL IS WEIRD" anyways I'm happy with the cast but BOOOOOOOO TO YOU AMANDA FOR DROPPING OUT! I still want to see Britney with you and Kat though lol.

[Pyramid Head]

HELEN <3 Good luck!

[Helen Kim]

Jan 13, 2014 1:46:24 GMT -5 Pyramid Head said:

HELEN <3 Good luck!

Thanks Girl! Will need it since no one talks to me here HAHA!

I hope the game isn't Silent Hill themed and you just wanted to be a Pyramid Head for the hell of it! I'd be very worried otherwise!

[Pyramid Head]

Who doesn't love Pyramid Head?

[Mariah Carey]

Dear diary is such an underrated ballad

[Helen Kim]

Jan 13, 2014 12:17:55 GMT -5 Mariah Carey said:

Dear diary is such an underrated ballad

That's Where You Take Me! <3

[Helen Kim]

LOL Kat, couldn't ask for a better ad than this!

[Helen Kim]

This is what happens when I try to be funny

[Legendtina]

Sorry I had to drop out! Least this time you won't have someone you are working with that drives you crazy! Good luck!

[Faye]

So Helen's winning. I'm glad that's decided quickly.

[Helen Kim]

FAYE I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.

[Helen Kim]

HOH was scary as fuck and very confusing for like the first 30 seconds of it LOL. I don’t know why I’m so stupid and can’t understand the simplest rules! At first I thought we had to vote for two people we’d want to win HOH, then when I found out we were voting for two people to be nominated I was like “Omg!” I ended up voting for Ryan and Ed on the count that neither of them were online when I thought was an actual “semi-live” challenge was starting. Kevin wasn’t online either but I liked Kevin from the very little interactions I had with him in my Diary Room last season and apparently there’s a guy named Drew in our season but I had no idea who he was lol! Guess I missed him when I was adding everyone’s screen names, otherwise I would have nominated him alongside Ryan to keep Season Four safe!

The actual twist in which the SIX people with the most votes were all going to get nominated was a shocker! Completely caught me off guard, though I gotta admit if I were going to be nominated I would definitely want to be on the block against five other people, gives you better odds at staying! Knowing that I at LEAST ranked in the Top 14 of the unofficial popularity poll is kind of awesome, and with all six nominees being the Veto players and four people up on the chopping block once the two best players win, I’m guaranteed to make it to the next round – whoopee! I’m not a first boot! Some of the results shocked me though – Drew, Ryan, Kevin and Ed were expected because neither were really online or seemingly active around the time HOH was supposed to start, but I wasn’t expecting Estelle, Joe and Dominic to rank up in there. I’ve never been in Allstars season before so I don’t really know what dynamics are – if everyone is expected to work with people from their respective seasons and have their backs or blahblah. For me personally, I’m not any bad terms with GinaMarie, Rhian, Ed or Sam (at least I think I’m not LOL) so I would expect us to work together … but whatever, season four is off the block which is nice! I also thought Dominic and Estelle would have faired better as well, both being winners and whatnot but maybe they were targeted because they won? I don’t know, seems kind of random and I was hoping with the results I could get a general idea of who is working with who but it didn’t really reveal much.

HOH talk aside, we also seem to have a pretty active cast here! I’m pretty sure I’ve spoken to everyone besides Drew, Ryan and Kevin – can you imagine?! That’s 16 people I’ve spoken to in the hopes that they think I’m funny and worthy of keeping around for a good laugh lmao. I think one mistake that I made last year was that there were people whom I blatantly just ignored because I had zero interest in getting to know them or wanting to work with, which at the time made perfectly good sense to me because why would I want to waste my time conversating with someone I planned on evicting, but I think this time around I’m going to try and give everyone the opportunity and pleasure of getting to know me haha. With a cast of people where most of us all placed in the Top 5 in our season, you never know who is going to end up in control … which goes back to my initial strategy of just finding whatever common ground I have with everyone here and using that to appeal to their good side.