Diary Room #10

[Rhian Sugden]

Dixie (4:21): hi

Rhian (4:21): Dixie mustered up the courage to IM me.
Rhian (4:21): I'm not messaging back though.
Rhian (4:22): Sorry 'bout it.
Estelle (4:22): LMAO EEK

Dixie (4:23): rhians
Dixie (4:23): ignoring me
Estelle (4:23): wut
Estelle (4:24): is she rly?
Estelle (4:24): she hasn't replied to me
Estelle (4:24): in like 5 minutes

Estelle (4:38): dixie asked if your back
Estelle (4:38): what do i say LOL
Rhian (4:38): LMAO.
Estelle (4:39): R U JUST NOT GONNA REPLY
Rhian (4:39): Pretty much.
Estelle (4:39): LOLOL

[Rhian Sugden]

This game is a mess. It really is. I'm always up and down, my emotions are conflicting, I feel like I'm on my period half the time, and I just can't find solid footing. I guess that's what makes this All Stars though. I don't feel safe, I don't feel comfortable. Because of this, I knew it was absolutely dire that myself or Estelle win the Head of Household competition. Out of everyone in the house, she is by far the one I trust the absolute most. She's the one I want to go the distance with. Everyone else has lied to me or fibbed to me in some way, has taken action against me, or has just been nonexistent and unhelpful.

When the results came through for the Head of Household, I was so happy. Estelle won! That's wonderful. I got third place which is fine! I was one point away from second, which is what Sam got. I'm just glad that if I couldn't win, that it was Estelle who did. Estelle and I were talking, and we were 100% locked into the idea of seeing Sam and Kristen go up on the block, hence the fighting that broke out as soon as results were announced. I got really pissed off when Sam brought me into it, especially since I had said nothing, so I confronted him on AIM and asked if he had a problem with me, to address it.

Sam told me, "You expect me to believe that Estelle is targeting us on her own?" Um, seriously? First off, it shows how much this guy knows about the game. Almost zilch. The problem with Sam and Kristen is that they don't really branch out and thoroughly talk to anyone outside their alliance. I informed Sam that Estelle had her own reasons for wanting to avenge GinaMarie, because they too were friends outside the game, and on top of that, that he and Kristen almost never spoke to Estelle the whole game. So, excuse him. He apologized over it and said he didn't mean to get me involved, but it was whatever.

[Rhian Sugden]

One of my biggest hesitations came in the form of making a chat that included myself, Estelle, Dixie, Sam, and Kristen. I asked Estelle if she thought it was a good idea, because I completely expected Dixie to try and switch things up and have things change, but Estelle wanted to because she felt that we could get dirt if they threw anyone under the bus. We'd take that information and then spread it to get the tides turned against them. Unfortunately, the chat had the opposite effect, and once again, another bond was made. Now do you see what I mean by conflicting emotions? I hate them, I like them, I want them out, I want them to stay .. it's too much. It's just .. too .. much. I can't take it.

Alot of Estelle's decision, and also my decision, to somewhat forgive these three came in the form of .. who else can we trust? You have Frank who sold one of his closest friends out because he "panicked" .. you have Ryan who has gone around telling everyone that myself and Dixie are close and need to go .. you have Dominic who voted GM out just to "cause drama" .. Talla, who is all over the place .. and then you have Shane, who is never around anymore. Just wow. In a sense, our hand was kind of forced and it made sense to side with these three. The downfall in this is we wouldn't get the revenge we wanted for GinaMarie. We wanted to get atleast one out for her. However, I guess this game isn't about revenge, not if you want to try and play smart and go far.

Dixie has sworn over and over again that she would not come for Estelle and I, which I believe, and that Sam and Kristen wouldn't come for us either. Mind you, Dixie did 96% of the talking in the conversation as Sam and Kristen sat there like idiots. I messaged Dixie and told her to shut up so that the other two could actually talk, so she did .. for three minutes. Then she started again. I believe Dixie. I believe that Sam and Kristen wouldn't have Dixie stick her neck out on the line and say these things, only to burn her themselves .. therefore, I can kind of believe that they wouldn't come for us. If they did nominate Estelle or I before anyone else, they'd be making Dixie look terrible above all else.

[Rhian Sugden]

Talla and Shane are nominated. Don't really care. Talla had the nerve to actually come to me and ask why I was saying last week that I wanted her out, which is kind of bullshit. I hadn't spoken to anyone for days, and I mean, like three or four days. Not Sam. Not Kristen. Not Dixie. Not Frank. Not anyone. So, I told Talla, "whoever is saying that to you, is relaying old information to you .. a dispute that we settled the last time you got removed from the block." Now, I don't like Talla as a person, I'm sure that much is clear, but honestly, she could be beneficial to my game if there was ever a way to just overlook her indignity.

I got picked to play for Veto! Good. This week, I really want to make sure that myself or Estelle win, this way, we can just decide what we want to do and make it happen. A funny occurrence that happened during the drawings was Ryan stating that he needed to be picked because he was going to be backdoored. Why is that funny? Because it's a possibility. Estelle played with the fact that she wouldn't mind seeing Ryan go up and out, because he's such a fickle player. One second he's hot, the other he's cold. He's unsteady for the worst reasons. The second he pitched to me to put Dixie up when I was HOH, and I turned him down, it just became, "Dixie/Rhian are together!"

I think Ryan being backdoored is actually great for that sole reason. Ryan has been one of the main players actively campaigning around the house that Dixie needs to be stopped, that I need to be stopped, that we're working together, etc. Since Estelle didn't nominate Dixie, or even Sam or Kristen this week, who's to say he wouldn't clump her into that equation aswell? This is why it might be smart to remove Ryan from the game as opposed to someone like Talla. But it'll all come down to the Power of Veto and who comes out on top.

[Rhian Sugden]

I won the Power of Veto! It feels great to have another win under my belt. With this victory, Estelle and I can see what we want happen this week, happen. The competition was actually something I have enjoyed in other games I've played. It was crazy that I was in the tie-breaker with Talla. I knew that if I won, I was going to take down Talla, but I wanted to win to make sure I could have some of that leverage, that I could talk to Talla, try and mend fences and see if I could somehow smooth things over and have her feel indebted to me in whatever way. I managed to win by almost a minute, giving me the ability to try and work an angle with Talla, one that would have me save her, but that would also, hopefully, put Estelle and I in her good graces should she win HOH.

Since I have removed Talla from the block, I fully expect to see Ryan go up. Estelle and I talked about it a bit, and we both agree that Ryan is probably the best candidate to go. Ryan has been one of the most vocally against myself, Dixie, and potentially Estelle in the future and he's also good at competitions when he really pushes himself for 'em. Him ever winning Head of Household would be a complete disaster. A complete disaster. There is just no getting through to him whatsoever. It's a dangerous play keeping him in the game.

What frustrates me the most about everything, is that I feel like my target changes daily. I can't just focus in on one person and make sure they meet their demise like last season. Last season, I'd find out someone was after me or GinaMarie and I'd hone in on them, make them the next to go. Eric. Sam. Faye. Etc. Here, I can't do that. I feel like everyone is after me. What it comes down to this season, is ranking my enemies from most to least threatening. In my eyes, Talla is least threatening in comparison to the likes of Ryan and Frank. So, I took Talla down in hopes of trying to buy a week or two from her if she were to win Head of Household. Ryan needs to go now. Frank needs to go soonafter.