Diary Room #12

[Rhian Sugden]

Sitting on the sidelines and watching and waiting for Head of Household to conclude was one of the longest moments for me in this game. It was awful. As outgoing Head of Household, I was ultimately powerless and had to leave the fate of my game in the hands of Dixie, Estelle, and even Dominic. If Kristen, Sam, Talla, or Ryan won .. they would have had more than the right to nominate me. However, I stayed true to my deal with Ryan last week, so if he did end up winning, I would like to think that he'd honor his end and not put me on the block. I kind of don't think he'd nominate me, and this is why ..

During the Head of Household competition, there was apparently some sharing going on amongst the housemates, and Dixie, Estelle, and Dominic were clearly working together. Ryan, being one of the more observant players in situations like this, realized that Dominic was definitely with those two. He even came to me and shared that insight. For this reason, I feel like if Ryan were to win Head of Household, he'd put up Dixie and Estelle as initial nominations, and if a nomination were to change, then Dominic would have gone up over me. That's hopeful thinking on my part though. I really feel like he'd honor our deal to F6.

I don't know what the challenge necessarily was or how it worked, but Dominic ended up winning. But, it was determined that a redo was going to have to take place because of the sharing of answers between some of the players. I went from a moment of celebration to a moment of absolute dread, because I felt like Dominic would have kept me off the block. Right now it's just a waiting game to see what happens. If the wrong person wins, I can be in deep crap this week and it will come down to the Power of Veto. I hope it doesn't come down to that though. I'm not ready to leave this game yet. I'm really, really, really not.

[Rhian Sugden]

Dominic won the redo! Thank god. I suppose it was fate that he win this week, so kudos to him. As soon as Dominic won, I shot him a celebratory PM and asked what he was thinking for nominations this week. No answer. This really bugged me. Dominic usually always responds but he never responded to my PM despite constantly being on the board and refreshing after winning. Even the next day for nominations, he never responded to me, or Dixie, for that matter. However, Dixie's approach was a little obnoxious. As we all know, Dixie's whole thing this game has been, "I'm not here to win, I'm just here to push others!"

Dixie decided to take it upon herself to message Dominic and tell him that she'd throw the game near the end just to push Dominic into the F2. First off, even if that were true, who's going to believe that? I know I wouldn't. Dixie clumped me into that scenario aswell because I've made comments on how I just want to make F4, so I still have the reputation of atleast being consistent in this series. I'm also dreading the Jury questioning process, but who isn't? However, if I make it close to the end, I can't see myself throwing everything away. I'll say that right now if it helps get me to that point, but I'm clearly trying here.

Dominic eventually replied to Dixie and myself. He told me that he was going to put up Sam and Kristen initially, and I agreed that was a great choice. Sam and Kristen have stated plenty of times, even to me last round when I was Head of Household, that they would have put Dominic up in some capacity if they won. Whether that was just them trying to save their ass to me or not, they still said it, and that should raise some flags for Dominic. His response to Dixie is what I expected, that he was hesitant to believe that Dixie would throw her game to push him to the end, etc. I don't blame him. Hopefully though, a part of him buys into it, because Dixie has been playing that same, old song all game.

[Rhian Sugden]

I'm really mad at myself. That Power of Veto was mine. It really was. I think I zoomed through all of them pretty quickly until I hit the last one. When I got to the last clue, I focused more on "celebrate" than the party bit. I had celebration in mind, so I was looking in competition results where people celebrated their victory. It didn't click until about 9 minutes into searching that it could've meant birthday, and I remembered doing that Britney Spears cake .gif for Kathleen's birthday thread. I slapped my forehead and went to the thread, and what do you know, there it was. I would have won the challenge, 100%, and instead, the worst case scenario happened with Ryan picking up the victory.

Ryan winning is a dangerous game. Ryan is going to use the Power of Veto. I know he is. He'll more than likely save Kristen too. Because of this, that leaves myself, Dixie, Estelle, and Talla as potential replacement nominations. No chance in hell that Dominic would put Estelle up. Those two are pretty close; they're on a texting basis. I just can't see it happening whatsoever. Then you have Talla, who Dominic has had an off and on relationship with in this game, but he did mention to me last round how he was working at fixing their relationship. So .. that leaves Dixie and I. I feel like Dominic would be silly to put me up, as I've had his back in the game much more than Dixie has.

I spoke to Ryan, and Ryan asked me if I'd be safe if he used the Veto. I said I wasn't sure, and I'm really not. Ryan said that if I did go up as the replacement, I'd only need three votes and Estelle and Dixie wouldn't evict me, and neither would he. I want to trust Ryan. I brought up how I honored our deal last week and I would be super appreciative if he honored his end of the deal this week should I go up, which is, not evicting the other if we're on the block. This deal lasts until the F6, so it's still in effect. If I do go up, I should stay based on that, but he could easily break his word and say "fuck it". I wouldn't blame him for it, but I'd find him hypocritical for crying that nobody honored deals with him, then when the first person that honors one, he backstabs them. I'm just praying that I don't go up. I really don't want to be sitting in one of those seats.

[Rhian Sugden]

Up until the ceremony, I'm going to be a nervous wreck.

[Kat]

I like when you're nervous Rhian