Estelle Landy [1st]
Dominic Briones [2nd]
Dixie Crawford [3rd]
Talla Rejaei [4th]
Rhian Sugden [5th]
Kristen Bitting [6th]
Ryan Buckingham [7th]
Sam Wallace [8th]
Frank Eudy [9th]
Shane Meaney [10th]
GM Zimmerman [11th]
Helen Kim [12th]
David Lane [13th]
James Rhine [14th]
Andrew Monaghan [15th]
Ed Lower [15th]
Joe Arvin [17th]
Roddy Mancuso [18th]
Kevin Campbell [19th]
Drew Daniel [20th]
Post by Estelle Landy on Apr 9, 2014 16:19:01 GMT -5
this timeframe sucks. this is the only time ill have to do it.
Thursday: class till 3, meeting 6:30-10 Friday: class in the morning till 1 then driving to orlando (2 hours to home, 1 hr from home) to work 6pm till 4am and by then its too late to start
i can't get little sleep on thursday night cuz ill be driving 3 hours + working till 4am so i have to do it now until i PTFO
Post by Estelle Landy on Apr 9, 2014 21:24:13 GMT -5
so my friend called and asked if i wanted to eat and honestly i haven't had the time to eat all day so I'm just gonna do it. ill try posting from my phone but i feel like dixie won't commit all this time so i should be in the clear. i just don't want to give up so easily, and i won't.
however with every decision, i gotta weigh the pros and cons.
best case scenario: i don't even mess up from my phone. that's ideal and completely plausible. worst case scenario: i lose, dixie wins. if dixie wins, she'll likely WANT to win the entire game, so she'd vote dom out because if she's against dom she loses: me, gm, ryan, talla, and shane likely against her. she'd likely take me to the final 2 anyway
however she may not even try and id win anyway so this is a waste of time. and she may also try and take dom but that would be dumb for her.
DO I EVEN WANT TO WIN? If i take dom i may lose. if i go against dixie i may win? or not. dixie carries sam/kristen/rhian 110% dom only carries shane and rhian likely 100% i will do what it takes to get everyone's votes.
Post by Estelle Landy on Apr 12, 2014 4:04:53 GMT -5
Hey guys!
I love you both and have put my heart and soul into this game. It would stink coming up short after all of this, but ultimately there has been a plan in motion for me to be at the end with someone and it's not ultimately my opportunity to follow through with it. I want to do what's best for me, and whether it is or not comes down to perception which is entirely in the eyes of the jury, which I feel it is hard to completely understand how they are viewing things. With that being said,
I'm so sorry you beautiful bodacious babe. As much as another Dixie/Estelle final two would have been sexy, you know the plan was for me to make it to the end with Dominic and even though things could entirely be different if you wanted to take this home, I think the final 2 should be how it has been planned. I'm not scared to face Dominic in the end. If I lose, I think I probably would have lost either way, but I think Dominic would make a great winner, and as would you if you wanted it as badly! It sucks it came down to this but I love you so much and have a ton of respect for you and I couldn't thank you enough for your hand in all of this coming through. You've been great to me for the majority of this game and I have to thank you for a lot.
Post by Estelle Landy on Apr 12, 2014 15:14:55 GMT -5
i don't even give a shit anymore it's fucking pathetic to promise someone your vote and PLAN WITH THEM TO MAKE THE F2 WITH SOMEONE ELSE AND TELL THEM YOU WILL HAVE THEIR VOTE ONLY TO SAY NVM I WANT IT TO BE FAIR LIKE HOW THE FUCK WAS THIS ENTIRE THING FAIR FUCK YOU
Post by Estelle Landy on Apr 12, 2014 17:36:29 GMT -5
GM <3 <3
First off, please pay close attention to the music in the background
Anywho, as you'll hear in my video- I think yes and no yours and Andrew's eliminations were wake-up calls for me. Yes, because it made me realize I need to make big moves and it kind of MOTIVATED me to, but no because it had constantly been my plan from the beginning to kind of BE under the radar at times, since I was nominated week one I wanted not to be seen as a threat early on. I used this UTR period to form relationships and alliances with people, but not AGAINST people because I didn't wanna be seen as a threat. When Andrew left, I started planning and plotting against people, and I reconciled with certain people in order to be able to do it. However, when you left - I finally won HOH and had the ability to do it, I guess. However at times I was genuinely busy, but other times I was able to post a ton of confessionals and videos almost weekly!
In your second question, I always wanted F2 with you. I knew you possibly would have taken Rhian over me, so I never would have walked into the F3 with the two of you still, but I would not have made a move against you personally. Maybe Rhian in order to limit your options and kind of force you to go with me, but I never would have targeted you. As your ideal F3 with myself, you, and Rhian -- mine was myself, you, and Dominic. (Well, Andrew first but replaced by Dom). My F2 with Dominic became more genuinely real when you left and when we both kind of recognized we needed each other and when we stuck together.
Thanks for your questions, ILY so much and good luck with your vote. <3
Post by Estelle Landy on Apr 13, 2014 2:25:06 GMT -5
It also came to my attention that you were making fun of my career asking others in the game how is it that I could be a teacher... And accusing me of lying about teaching.
Post by Estelle Landy on Apr 13, 2014 3:21:33 GMT -5
Hey Talla!
So I touch on everything in the video, but I definitely want to address it directly in text format as well. I apologize completely for a lot of my immature resentment and feelings toward you, as well as my immature and uncalled for actions toward you, particularly in the beginning stages of the game. My resentment at the beginning of the game directed toward you completely builds from the URTV drama. Chelsia was one of my close friends, and I attempted to defend her, which prompted comments between us that were imbedded in my 14-year old head. This was ages ago and I carried an immature grudge for far too long, and I know we've moved past that, so hopefully you don't still think I'm caught on that, because my apologies are sincere and I'll touch more on this soon.
I don't recall ever saying that about your career, and I apologize immensely. I'd like to talk to you about this, possibly after the game, but I don't want you to think that I currently discredit your career, or your ability to be a teacher, because I don't. If I did say it, it was probably in the beginning of the game when I probably did say many immature things I shouldn't have and if I knew what they were now, I'd probably regret them. I'm sorry this ever came up though, because it really never should have!
About the apology now -- I was entirely sincere about it… however, I can completely understand how it could be seen as fake. The timing was horrible, but it was kind of essential. When Andrew left (or was leaving), it kind of got me to thinking - why do I "hate" Talla so much? What's stopping us from working together? I know Andrew would have loved it, so I wanted to talk to you about whatever issues we had. I feel like the fact that I addressed our issues head on was a token of respect to you, because I know you like to address people head on and you don't like to beat around the bush or bullshit people. I think if I were being fake with you regarding my apology, I would have bullshitted you and make excuses for myself, but I think I owned up to everything and from my perspective, we were able to move on from there and even align.
Which, speaking of aligning, was one of my priorities at points. I wanted to get to the end with you and Dominic at certain points in this game. I am sorry that it came across as though you were a back-up plan for me, because it was much more complicated than that in my eyes. When I had others come to me telling me they want me in the end with them, I felt it would have been foolish of me to turn that down in a game sense. 1) It would be saying I don't trust them, and 2) If they were true, then I'd have people playing for me to win, not themselves. However, I also didn't want to simply rely on their efforts, because then if I made it to the end, what would I say? "I relied on Dixie & Rhian." Because that wasn't the case, I made plans without them just in case it didn't pull through, and I think that's a huge part of the reason I'm here. I had the ability to rely on them, but I didn't because I didn't want to be perceived as a goat or a floater or lazy, so hopefully I've proved that, and honestly -- if they hadn't come to me with that deal, who knows what would have been in store for the Estalla showmance? :*
FINALLY, what I would do with the $500,000… easy! Lately I've been getting much more involved in non-profit organizations, such as American Diabetes Association and the American Red Cross (both of which I have applied to internships with this summer, and heard back positively from), but it just strikes home for me. I love helping people who may not be able to help themselves, and I love giving back to the community, so that's definitely something I would love to do. Furthermore, I think above that… I love my family. They're paying for my college and I had taking them for granted because they deserve so much more than that. Every time I have to pay fines, I feel like I owe them so much and this would just be a great opportunity to show them how much I appreciate them and how much I love and care for them… if the money were real anyway, that's what I would do with it. And of course I would save some as well, because that's generally I do when given money.
Anyway, thank you so much for the questions and the opportunity to address them. I hope this helps you in your decision. If you have any follow-up questions, let me know and I won't hesitate to address them. Also, if you want to talk more personally and privately about anything, feel free to message me - I don't know if we can by the time the game ends, but if you want to wait until after, then that's fine as well. I don't want to talk to you just for a jury vote, because our friendship will outdate this game regardless.
Post by Estelle Landy on Apr 13, 2014 20:12:58 GMT -5
this is so fucking frustrating bc I've recorded so many videos on youtube and it disconnects at the very fucking end and doesn't save so i have to redo the entire fucking thing ojh m yogjdoijffls;kzmx
Post by Estelle Landy on Apr 13, 2014 20:41:29 GMT -5
Rhi Rhi I love you!
You're someone I wanted to work closely with throughout the duration of this game and I feel like I had the opportunity to work with and it was lovely. I hate that you feel so burnt by me, and that was never my intention in this game: you're like one of the last people I thought I would burn at any point in this game and it sucks. You deserved an explanation for your elimination as soon as it happened, and me being busy was no excuse because I continually put it off as I am bad with confrontation and I was being a pussy about it. I genuinely cared about you, which is why I didn't want do it, because I never wanted to hurt you which is ironic because that is exactly what I wound up doing.
Ultimately it came down to you vs. Dixie. The only reason it mattered what Talla wanted, was so that I wouldn't aggregate her for the next round so that she wouldn't want me out. I didn't believe what she said necessarily. At the time, I honestly believed you said something small and it was misconstrued. Whether that's the case or not, is irrelevant. What it came down to, was I simply believed that Dixie would want me to win more. The round Frank left, I feel like you were very confrontational, and you were abrasive in that you dropped a lot of cuss words and you even excused me from the conversation when I wouldn't agree with letting Frank go by saying "bye." Eventually you said you would let me win, which I felt was kind of a last-ditch effort type thing, and I didn't understand why you would fight so hard for something to happen only to say you wanted me to win anyway. During this debate, Dixie was very apathetic about who went, as long as we agreed - which seemed more of an attitude for someone who didn't want to necessarily fight to win. You had the passion and the drive, and in my eyes, were much more of a threat than Dixie, which is ultimately why you left. If you wanted to win, you would have won with ease, is essentially what I'm saying.
You deserved this explanation ages ago, and I'm sorry you're just getting it fully now. You deserved better. In the end, if you have anything else you'd like to address, please do let me know. Whether it's after the finale or what, it doesn't matter. I hope we can move passed this, and I'm sure we can. I love you and respect your decision no matter what. Best of luck with your decision. <3
